Thursday, January 29, 2009

My heart hurts

I have just been reading some stories of parents who have lost very very young children that I came accross on various blogs & forums I visit and I had to resist the urge to grab both my boys through my haze of tears and hug them till long after they had started to squirm & push away from me. Lately with my photo a day project I have been wishing that I could see photos of any moment of my life that I may choose. Like this morning when it was sprinkling rain so Levi, Finn & I all went outside and held out our hands to catch the raindrops - the boys both had these wide-eyed looks of amazement & joy and they kept giggling the whole time. Moments like those, my heart hurts. Like it just isn't big enough. Moments like those I feel such incredible joy and love for these 2 little people that I actually feel sad that it can't just stay that perfect & happy. That they have to grow up and go through life and I have to go through it to. I don't want to. I want to stay out in the rain with my babies & stay happy.




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